A Tribute to Nicol
by xxKuroyurixx
Summary: An unfortunate end for the Le Creuset team's battle brings Nicol face to face with his first love and the painful truth about war.
1. In That Starry Sky

This is my second fan fiction. I admit, it's not as exciting as the first one, but it was not meant to be. It's a tribute to Nicol Amalfi, one of my favourite characters in Gundam Seed. His death was so unexpected, and apart from his talent in music, not much was shown about him. So, I have taken this opportunity to give my impression of Nicol. There is much more on the way. I hope you enjoy it so please read and comment.

The control room had been quiet all evening. Other than the muffled conversations between soldiers and the hum of machines, it was almost silent. So everyone was startled when one of the soldiers jerked forward in his seat. "What's up Joseph? You gave me quite a scare there." The man looked at his screen hesitating before answering.

"There seems to be something approaching us.", he said nervously. Two other men stood up and came over to look at the screen.

"What! But those are GINNs? Where are they coming from? ...Hold on! They are accompanied by the Aegis, the Buster, The Blitz and the Duel! They're using our own weapons against us!". The room was suddenly alert with fear and panic.

"All hands to level one battle stations! I repeat, all hands to level one battle stations!" Soldiers rushed frantically out of bed and ran to their posts. The EAF base in Alaska had recently defeated some ZAFT forces in a battle that day and had not expected them to return so soon. Explosions rocked the ground and the hanger shook. From above, the Le Creuset Team, followed by several GINNs bombarded the base.

"Alright men, let's take 'em out!" Yzak's voice called out to his fellow soldiers. He dove down and fired at the Earth forces mobile suits that were making their way to the air. "Let's show them that no one messes with the Le Creuset Team!". He was answered by the cheers of several pilots. Yzak smiled at this and continued his assault. Nicol flew up from behind regarding the Alaska base sadly but not regretfully. They were fighting a war, it was required of them. Besides, thinking of all the lives that would be lost would only make their job harder. The Buster came into view alongside the Duel.

"Hey, Nicol, hurry it up. The attack's already begun.", came Dearka's voice as he shot at the mobile suit that had made its way behind Yzak.

"Leave the coward alone.", Yzak snickered. "Commander Le Creuset expects us to wipe out these Natural's with or without his help." Athrun cut in calmly, although his face didn't hide his annoyance. "Maybe you should direct your attention to your enemies Yzak.", he said dodging the beam saber of a strike dagger and firing at it with his beam rifle. Yzak frowned at his comment and moved out, distancing himself from his rival. Nicol's pleasant face appeared on Athrun's screen.

"You don't have to defend me Athrun; it will only make them dislike you.". Athrun kept his eyes on the battlefield as he replied.

"You shouldn't be putting up with it Nicol; you're a soldier too.", he now looked back at the screen to his friend and smiled. Nicol looked at him in awe for a moment and then drew his attention to the mobile suit advancing towards him. He dove under the fast moving beam blade of a strike dagger. The Blitz quickly shot at it and kicked it away in the torso. For a moment, Nicol paused and thought about what Athrun had said. Even though Athrun's position made him the superior to Nicol, Yzak and Dearka, he never let his authority over his teammates get the better of him. Nicol smiled and Athrun looked back looked back at him quizzically.

"It's nothing Athrun. Let's hurry up and get this battle over with."

In the mobile suit hanger, Sreymao awaited her orders. Her instructor Lt. Gengling had rushed out after the alarms had sounded, a look of mixed anger and fear creased his otherwise flawless face. Many of his students admired his daring, his remarkable good looks, and his sense of humour in such tragic times. Gengling was a war hero, but even he had managed to lose his wits in the confusion.

"All of you stay here until I come back!", he ordered his students. Sreymao and the others nodded as he quickly took off. She sat against the wall watching as the other pilots left the hanger and listened as the other students occupied themselves with gossip about the attacks.

"They say it's the team we defeated earlier." "So soon? We lost a lot of men in that battle. Do we even stand a chance?" "What do you mean? Of course we do. We are the best of the best; that's why we're here." There were a few snickers after that as one of the soldiers looked at Sreymao.

"Of course, most of us are. Why did they choose her?" Sreymao hugged her knees trying hard to ignore what the two pilots were saying. "Look at her. She looks like she's waiting to die. She's never cut her hair since they died. I guess she's only here because she wants to join her parents. Did you hear? She's the only one who had to take the simulation tests twice." Sreymao focused on the tapping of feet against the hard concrete floors. The footsteps were approaching her, and suddenly all of the talking stopped. She looked up and quickly jumped to her feet. She didn't know the man who stood in front of her, but she recognized him as an important commander. She remembered seeing him once before barking orders to people who had a had even more authority than Lieutenant Gengling.

"Where are the other reinforcements!", he barked. Sreymao looked at him blankly and he looked around at the other soldiers sitting idly as they waited for Gengling's return.

"Get these men launched within the next half hour! We have plenty of mobile suits just sitting here…" The commander stopped talking as soon Gengling returned. "What's going on, sir?", Gengling asked, not bothering to salute. His voice was sickly sweet with mock respect. The commander glared at him. "I've ordered your men to be launched out." Gengling didn't try to hide is anger.

"My men? These are all novice pilots!" The commander gave him a look of mixed disgust and disappointment.

"Are you saying they aren't ready Lieutenant Gengling? You've had ample time to prepare! They are EAF soldiers, and right now they are needed out there!", he said pointing to the hatch of the hanger. Gengling felt his cheeks burning but held his tongue. What was the use of fighting with his superior? The commander would easily win and have his way. Besides, he had to set a good example for his students. He sighed and moved aside as they filed and got seated in their mobile suits. Only Sreymao remained. "Lieutenant, do you think I'm ready?", she said fiddling with her fingers as she spoke. He smiled sheepishly at her. "Does it matter? You're going out there whether I like it or not." Sreymao looked at him worriedly and he sighed. "You're chariot awaits.", he said as he led her to a Dagger L and helped her to her seat in the cockpit.

"Okay kiddo, just like we practiced.", he said as he handed her a helmet. Sreymao looked at the helmet. Gengling had always been kind to her, even though no one else had been. He had even permitted her to redo her test although most pilots were sent home after failing it the first time. "I know you have potential. We could really use someone as dedicated as you on the front lines", he had told her. She looked up at him and smiled, her bright green eyes twinkling. She was determined to make him proud.

"I promise, I'll do my best.", she said softly. Gengling smiled at her as she placed the helmet over her long black hair and strapped herself in.

"That's all I expect from you.", he told her as he stepped back and reached for the cable. Sreymao stopped suddenly and undid her safety belt. "What's wrong?", he asked assuming she was chickening out. She hopped out and hugged him tightly. Gengling looked down at her in surprise. She reminded him of a delicate flower, plucked from a meadow and thrown out onto the battlefield. He felt pained as he silently pushed her away, back into the cockpit of the Dagger L and gave her shoulder a good squeeze. She was a kid, only 16 years old, and here she was going out to fight. He hoped his face didn't betray his guilt. "Be safe...", he said as he closed the door of her cockpit. From inside the dagger L, Sreymao exhaled nervously. She knew very well she could be killed; her own parents had died that way. But, she wanted to survive and return to the Lietenant. She closed her eyes and placed her hand over her heart. "As long I live, I'll fight for those I love…Ensign Sreymao Fang! Ready to launch." The mobile suit finally moved out to the dock and launched out. Gengling watched as it flew out into the night sky.

"...be safe...", he said again.


	2. Alone Without A Paddle

The night sky lit up with lights, beams and explosions. Dagger Ls filed into the sky weaving and dodging and firing at the ZAFT mobile suits. Nicol whirled around and used his shield to block a shot coming from behind. The Dagger L moved back and fired with its beam rifle. "Just quit already. You're defeated." Nicol thought to himself in annoyance as he dove in and fired his high energy beam rifle at the mobile suit, but it was trying to draw him out further into the uncharted waters.

"I don't think so.", he said with a frown as he unknowingly flew after it. He accelerated and moved in, closing the gap between the Dagger L and himself. The pilot was caught by surprise and the Blitz shoved it off balance with his shield. He sliced through the mobile suit's chest right above the cockpit with his beam saber. There was a loud explosion and quickly the Dagger L began to descend. Nicol looked as the flames disappeared into the dark below him. He had allowed himself to be distracted and now found himself separated from his team.

"Nicol, we're done here. We're heading back now." Athrun's voice called. Nicol nodded. "Alright. I'm on my way. Go ahead, I'll catch up with you so don't wait up." He looked out of the cockpit and noticed the dark clouds and fog. Alaska was surrounded by water and a few small islands so it was difficult to navigate and he had to pay careful attention to the map on his screen. Suddenly, the Blitz shook heavily and sent Nicol lurching forward.

"Aagh! What in the -". His screen was indicating over 70 damage to the Blitz's thrusters. Through the fog and the dark night sky, Nicol could see the smoke rapidly emerging from his own mobile suit. He sped up, trying to get as far away from the area as possible. He felt the impact of yet another shot, this time to his right arm and his system had frozen. He couldn't navigate in the dark with his systems offline, and here over Alaska, it was hard to tell what was sky, land or sea. Smoke was seeping into the night, and he could see the small sparks of electricity threatening the cockpit's interior. He realized he was losing altitude quickly now.

"Athrun. I've been hit...Athrun?". He could hear Athrun's voice mixed in with static, but he couldn't make out any clear words. His body was shaking with the force from the Blitz as it hurtled down. He took a deep breath, made sure his helmet was secure and strapped in, and braced himself for impact. There was a loud crash and then there was silence.

The sound of water sloshing against the sand and the birds chirping were all that could be heard on this small, uninhabited island off the coast of Alaska. Nicol stirred and opened his eyes. The sun shimmered off the water and slowly he sat up and took in his surroundings. What had happened? One minute he had been in combat with an EAF mobile suit, the next...? He remembered now. His systems had frozen and he had crashed. He moved his hands and legs and checked to see if there were any injuries. He seemed okay, although his head hurt. He removed his helmet and looked at his screen in disappointment. It had exploded and cracked.

In futile attempts, he tried to contact his team. In frustration he ran his hand through his curly olive green hair and made his way out of the cockpit dreading to see the damage the Blitz had acquired from the landing. It lay crumpled like a lifeless doll half submerged in the water and was covered with scratches, dents, and burns. He had assumed there had been a system malfunction, but what he found proved otherwise. There was a large crater behind the Blitz's right arm and an even larger melted crater in its back.

"So I was hit.", he murmured to himself as he his fingers grazed the totaled mobile suit's armor. He stopped suddenly when he heard something move behind him. Instinctively, he drew his handgun and cautiously turned around. "An animal perhaps?", he thought to himself as he crept closer. Suddenly, a hand reached out of the bushes, dragging behind it a helmeted soldier. Nicol immediately recognized the suit as that of an EAF pilot and pointed his gun at the pilot's head.

"So much for stealth, Natural. Don't move or else I will be forced to shoot you." The soldier continued to crawl forward, and Nicol could see the trail of blood that was staining the ground behind him. "Don't move.", he warned, now considering the pilot's safety as well as his own. Gripping a wounded rib, the pilot leaned against a rock trying to sit up. Nicol noticed now that this pilot was a girl. From her helmet, scared green eyes peered at him, and for a moment he lowered his gun.

"I told you not to move.", he repeated but his voice had softened as he felt himself pitying her. As though oblivious to what he had just said, she struggled to remove her helmet and Nicol, fighting against his morals, wasn't sure if he should shoot her or let her be. Finally, the helmet came off. She was panting but he wasn't sure if it came from her wound or from the strain of removing her helmet.

"Please don't...don't shoot.", she said weakly. "How did you get here?", he demanded. His usually soft and gentle voice was reluctantly cold and unwelcomingly. His gun still in hand, but now he was growing concerned. He could see tears well up in her eyes and was taken aback. "Please, don't cry. I mean... it's not like you've never seen a gun before.", he said slightly embarrassed for having almost made her cry. He returned his gun to its holster, using it as an excuse to look away. When he looked back at her, her eyes were closed and her breathing sounded more shallow. Nicol watched her for a moment. He watched the rise and fall of her chest and the pained expression on her face. She had lost a lot of blood and if he left her, she would surely die. But she was a natural, his enemy in this war.

"You should have just stayed where you were and died; it would have saved me the trouble.", he said sadly as he reached down and took out his dagger.

Commander Le Creuset sat in his chair aboard the Vesalius. His fingers were interlaced under his chin, and his emotions were hidden by his white mask and unrevealing lips. Captain Ades looked at him briefly and turned back to his crew. "..Nicol..", he thought to himself. While he had been awaiting his team's return, one of the technical agents had reported that they had lost contact with the Blitz. Disappointed, he had simply sighed and ordered that they scan the area.

"Remain on alert for any responses from the Blitz. Our enemies are not coming after us at this rate, but we have to keep on the move.", had been his command. Personally, to lose the Blitz and a loyal pilot like Nicol would be a loss, but it wasn't of any real concern to him. He had been a commander for years. This loss was no different than any others, but he was yet to lose a member of this team. Besides, wasn't this always the outcome of war?

"Commander Le Creuset. We have a message from the PLANTS. Connecting to main screen...". Disinterested, and somewhat grateful that his mask hid his lack of concern, he turned his attention to the large screen. PLANT supreme council member Yuri Almalfi's face was stoic, but fear and anxiety was wearing through his mask as he appeared on the screen. He saluted, and the commander saluted back.

"Commander Le Creuset, any word from the Blitz?", he asked calmly.

"None sir, we have the pilot and his mobile suit listed as MIA..." There was loud crash and one could clearly hear the sound of china shattering as it hit the floor. The sound of muffled sobs could be heard in the background, and Le Creuset knew Nicol's mother had been listening. He almost felt sorry for her.

"Forgive that...interruption on my part.", Council member Amalfi said. He was obviously distraught, and in a rush to comfort his wife.

"Supreme Council Member Amalfi, I assure you, we will find your son.", Le Creuset started after an awkward silence. "I know...and thank you commander.", the man replied regaining his composure.

"Do not fret. We will make sure you are notified as soon as possible. We would not want you or your wife to worry unnecessarily." The council member nodded and murmured his thanks before the screen went blank.

"Commander, we have spotted many enemy aircrafts surveying the area.", alerted one of the soldiers. "Hmm, so they're keeping watch. If we went to search for the Blitz right away, they would sense something was amiss and probably find him before we do. Nor would we want to gamble losing anymore of our men.", he thought aloud. They were in enemy territory and would easily be outnumbered. He was silent for a moment and finally spoke.

"How very unfortunate.", he mused. "Send out a single search party. We'll resume a more thorough search when things calm down."

Dearka removed his helmet. His blond hair stuck upright despite the fact that there was no gravity on Earth. He tucked his helmet under his arm as he walked over to Yzak who had been fuming. They had not yet changed from their red ZAFT suits after hearing about Nicol's disappearance. Athrun sat silently on the couch, his hand gripping a water bottle. "Damn it all! How did we manage to lose him!", Yzak yelled.. Dearka wasn't sure if Yzak was genuinely concerned about Nicol's safety, the reputation of the team, or the position his disappearance had put them all in. Yzak directed his anger at Athrun. "Aren't you his babysitter? You're always taking his side, so how did you let him get lost!" "Calm down Yzak. They've sent out a search party. And afterward, we'll go out and look for him." The room was silent for a moment and Dearka looked from Athrun's face to Yzak's. Yzak's teeth were clenched as if he were actually holding his tongue. Dearka smiled' Athrun's simple logic was always enough to shut up his boisterous friend. He looked to Athrun and noticed his eyes had taken an opaque calculating look. "Those search parties are well organized, but we can't count on them to be discreet...", Athrun said suddenly. Yzak, Dearka, Nicol and Athrun were ace pilots, the best of the best, and if those searching for Nicol were found, they could very well give away the position of the Vesalius. "Are you suggesting that we look for him ourselves...?", Yzak asked. Athrun looked up at him from his seat. "I'm saying that it's our best bet."


	3. The Truth

Sreymao stirred from her deep sleep. Her body was shivering in the cold Alaskan air, but the ground under her was moist and warm and she could feel the cool touch of someone's hands. They were gentle, but surprisingly strong. She opened her eyes and looked into the deep green eyes of the boy squatted beside her.

"Oh, so you're awake.", he said with a smile. Sreymao glimpsed the dagger he held in his right hand. Instinctively, she jumped back. The sudden movement sent a jolt of fierce pain through her side. She let out a yelp and fell forward, clutching her wound. The boy placed the dagger down and put up his hands defensively.

"I-I'm sorry! I promise I wasn't trying anything, but you're badly wounded. I was only trying to clean your wound." Sreymao forced herself onto her knees so she was facing him. She looked at him in silence and finally looked down at her tattered uniform.

She moved her hand from the wound she had been clutching and now saw the blood, wet and warm, on her hand. The boy had slowly made his way to where she knelt. His gun was still in its holster, and she figured that if he had meant to kill her, he would have done it by now. She sighed and looked up at him apologetically. The boy smiled again and Sreymao averted her gaze. He was definitely a boy, but his smile was so reassuring, and his face was so flawless and beautiful, that he could easily pass for a girl. "You should lie back down. It will be more painful for you if you sit up.", he said pushing her back down gently yet firmly. Sreymao looked up at his face once more before closing her eyes and lulling off to sleep.

Nicol sighed with relief. For a moment, he had worried that the frightened girl would react with hostility, but luckily she was too injured to prove a threat.Heplaced a cotton blanket from his first aid pouch over her and surveyed the area in which he stood. He could make out the tracks she must have made as she had wandered from her wreck. She had been piloting some sort of mobile armour, of this he was certain. He walked through the bushes, occasionally removing stray branches that were strewn in his path. The plants on PLANT were much tamer, than the ones on Earth. Soon he could see it. There was a strike dagger in horrible condition, but there was also a glimmer of hope that its communication system was still intact. This had been the mobile suit that had shot him down he realized now. During her descent, that girl had managed to take down a ZAFT mobile suit. This sent an uneasy feeling down his spine. He didn't sense a danger with her, but she was the enemy. As injured as she was it was her and others like her who was trying to wipe coordinators from the face of the earth.

He carefully climbed into the dark semi-burnt cockpit. It was a wonder that such a frail girl had survived such a crash. The mobile suit's OS was similar to that of the Blitz having both been manufactured by the EAF. He turned it on and held his breath.

Sreymao awoke again. The sky was darker and the threat of another storm loomed. She looked at the sky that was clouding up and felt her memory clearing. She had been in a battle with a ZAFT mobile suit. During the battle her mobile suit had been hit and, while taking a ZAFT mobile suit down with her, she had crashed somewhere off the coast of Alaska. She lay dazed and unmoving as she watched the clouds moving. How had she managed to survive? She had wanted to fight her best to help protect the earth but in her first battle she had been shot down. She had wanted so badly to please Gengling and make him proud, but she was sure she had only brought him worry and made him lose face.

Sreymao recalled when she had first met Gengling. It had been the same day as her parents' deaths. She had not spoken, and she had not cried, and no one seemed to care. Gengling, out of a bustling crowd of soldiers and officials had taken her aside. Hot tears slid down her face as she remembered that day. "It's hard to cry when it doesn't feel important.", he had said. "Even if the world wants to keep moving, it should never stop you from shedding tears for the ones you love." That day, it had felt so good to cry in someone's arms and know that they really cared. Gengling had held her and smiled down at her. Even without her family, as long as she had him she never felt alone. She closed her eyes and remembered his smile. Suddenly, the image of the smiling ZAFT pilot flashed through her mind. He had left while she'd slept. Sreymao remembered that it was an EAF mobile suit that he had been piloting. The Blitz, along with the Aegis, Buster, and the Dual had been stolen by ZAFT from Heliopolis. It was them who were responsible for destroying the colony.

Sreymao stood up, ignoring her body's complaints. He had helped her, but it was him and others like him that had made the Earth a battlefield. It was because of people like him that someone as caring as Gengling had to sully his hands taking the lives of others. It was because of people like him that her parents were no longer alive. Sreymao wiped the tears from her eyes. She was scared, but she had faced death and lived. If there was any reason she should have survived it was for this. She would do all she could to stop that pilot from taking other lives.

Nicol leaned back in the seat of the cockpit and sighed. The airways were still jammed. There was no way he could contact his ship with all the interference. Besides, there were high chances there were still chances the EAF was searching for this mobile suit, and that would not help his situation. His mind wandered to how his team was doing. He was certain they would be searching for him, but he was not sure they would know where to search. Nicol felt a tingly sensation down his spine. For a moment, his mind wandered out of his thoughts back to the wilderness that surrounded him. Someone was approaching, and with their approach, the air seemed more sinister. Nicol pulled out his gun but kept it concealed. He stepped out of the cockpit to face the girl. Only for a second did he let his guard down, but he could sense a tension in the air and he did not like tension. "Oh, you look like you're doing better.", he said carefully climbing down from the mobile suit. He took in her look of uncertainty mixed with determination and could clearly read her motives. He did not want to fight her, and she was in no condition to fight. He could easily overpower her, but he did not want to injure her further.

"Are you planning to steal more mobile suits? Or do you plan to destroy Alaska as you did Heliopolis, pilot of the Blitz?"

Nicol flinched at the name of the colony him and his team had devastated when they had stolen the mobile suits. The casualties from that incident had been many, and he regretted it deeply. He looked at her and said nothing.

"I'm sorry to repay your kindness with hostility but I can't forget what you and those other coordinators did. If I let you leave here…If I let you leave, you'll continue to fight, and kill, and destroy." Sreymao felt her hands trembling as she raised the dagger she had held behind her. "You're fighting to destroy those who defend our Earth…I just can't let you…I can't let you take anymore lives.", she sobbed as she approached him.

Nicol felt his heart ache for her. She was another victim of this war and once again he found himself loathing the existence of wars. Why did this have to be the outcome? Why did he have to take arms against someone as fragile and broken hearted as her? Why did the Naturals have to hate coordinators so much? He clenched his fist and pulled out his gun. "I'm sorry about the Colony Heliopolis' destruction. It wasn't what we had intended. I know you're beyond reasoning when you've lost so much in the war, but so have we. Many lives were lost in the Bloody Valentine Tragedy and if we don't fight to defend ourselves, we're afraid the people who despise us will try to do even worse things in the future."

They both stood there, weapons in hand. Sreymao's hands were shaking as she took slow steps towards him. He was a coordinator and he had a gun. She knew the odds were against her, but there was always a small chance. It was a chance she was willing to take.

"It's sad isn't it? We both are fighting to protect our homes and the people most important to us…" Sreymao stopped. Did they really have that in common? Could she really raise a knife against someone who shared the same dreams as her? He probably had a family and was as much a victim of the war as she.

"No…no, don't lie to me!", Sreymao screamed running towards him. "You killed them! You killed my parents! Don't you dare preach to me about protecting the things you love when all you do is destroy!" Nicol stopped in his tracks. Had her parents been in Heliopolis when it had been destroyed? Sreymao brought the dagger down towards his shoulder. He grabbed her arm and flung her down. She cried out and landed on stomach; the dagger had landed a few feet in front of her. Quickly, Nicol ran down. He caught the dagger before it was in her reach and looked down at her. He face was soiled with mixed tears and dirt. Nicol could feel the pitter patter of rain on his skin and watched as it joined her tears. She was sobbing and shaking her head. He felt his heart twist. He was responsible for this pain and nothing he did could take it away. Her words echoed inside him. _"Don't you dare preach to me about protecting the things you love when all you do is destroy!" _Nicol couldn't' move. Her words had left him in a state of shock and even the chilling rain couldn't reach him.

Lightning flashed and with what was left of her resolve and hurt, she threw herself at him. She pushed him down and pounded his chest with her fists. He wasn't fighting back and she was no longer fighting. She buried her face in his chest and cried.

Nicol faced the sky that was weeping and could hear the muffled sobs of the girl on top of him. How many people had cried like that when Junius Seven was destroyed? How many people had cried when Heliopolis had been destroyed? Coordinators or Naturals, all he could see now was their tears.


	4. Reunited Part 1

**For those of you who've been reading thank you for your comments and your patience. This is going to be a longer story than my first one and there are more chapters to go. I hope to update more often and get into the larger plot so please bear with me. **

The Aegis skimmed the waters as the Buster and Duel surveyed the land. The scene mirrored that of their last battle with heavy rain and creeping fog. They had launched out simultaneously right before day break. So far there was no sign of the Blitz.

"Athrun," Dearka paged. His usual smirk was gone and replaced with a frown of mixed anxiety and growing frustration. "We're running out of ground to cover. We haven't spotted him yet and there's been no sign from the Blitz. Do you think…"

"Shut up Dearka! Don't imply that a member of our team could be taken down so easily, even if he was Nicol." Yzak cut in. Athrun and Dearka were silent. Yzak's outbursts were very common but for him to come to Nicol's defense gave them more reason to worry.

"Don't give up so soon. We have the remaining sector to search. If nothing turns up then we'll have no choice but to return to the ship and rely on the search party." Athrun explained calmly. Yzak muttered his understanding and Dearka nodded. Of the three of them Athrun appeared the most composed but inside he was in turmoil. Nicol had been right behind him when they were leaving the battlefield so how had he managed to disappear so suddenly? Athrun cursed under his breath. He hadn't slept at all since Nicol had been listed as MIA and the lack of sleep was making him irritable. "Nicol", he thought to himself, "Please be alive."

The moon was still out even though it was morning but it was barely visible because of the heavy rain. In the fighter craft Gengling had acquired it was possible to move quickly without attracting too much attention. Despite the protests of the other officials, he had headed out in search for his soldier. A search party had been organized, but he refused to sit and watch. It was his fault she was now listed as MIA. If anything had happened to her he was responsible. The other six sword graspers now came into view.

"Sir, we have yet to report any signs of the strike dagger or its pilot.", came the voice of his subordinate.

"Continue searching until I say otherwise. She has to be around here somewhere.". He turned off the communication link and sighed. He had been searching all night. He had only been joined by the search party when the sun had come up. The strike dagger's coordinates implied she had been near land when she had been shot down, but what if she had happened to fall into the water. Gengling's shook the notion out of his mind but the possibility remained. What if she was dead?

Gengling's attention was diverted by a message from one of his subordinates. "What is it?", he asked impatiently. "Sir, we have picked up three enemy mobile suits closing in on us." Gengling's eyes widened as he checked his own radar. There they were. He hadn't anticipated their return so quickly and he doubted they were there for another purpose. The realization hit Gengling as soon as the mobile suits were in sight. The three mobile suits were the remainder of the Le Creuset team's ace pilots meaning one of their own pilots had been shot down as well.

"Spread out and keep your eyes open for the strike dagger! Do not get shot down!", he ordered. If the Le Creuset team was here then perhaps they were closer to finding Sreymao after all.

Nicol trudged through the rain with Sreymao on his back. She had passed out again. They were both drenched from the rain and now he looked for some sort of shelter. Sreymao stirred and Nicol paused beside a tree to rest. "You're a weird one.", she said drowsily. "You can let me down now.", she said. Embarrassed, Nicol set her down and seated himself beside her under the cover of the trees.

She looked at him and then looked away. Nicol glanced at her face. Her skin was flushed and as he had carried her he had felt the feverish warmth of her skin. Even though her hair was soaked and droplets were forming on her eyelashes, she was beautiful. Their eyes met and bashfully he looked away. "Um, I'm alright now.", she said suddenly standing up. Nicol looked beyond the shadows of the tree shielding them. "We don't have to rush.", he said looking at the scenary. "We'll only get soaked if we walk in this heavy rain."

"Oh," Sreymao replied stupidly. She sat down again and looked at him. She knew he was only stalling for her to regain some strength and thought about thanking him, but decided against it. Instead, she watched him watch the rain and let herself swim in her thoughts.

When their eyes had met, she had felt her pulse quicken and her cold hands grow a little warm. Was it because he was so attractive and at the same time so polite? She dismissed her feelings, disgusted with herself, and turned away. She shouldn't be enjoying the scenery, she should be focusing on returning home. And why wasn't he as concerned about their situation as she was? Her thoughts were broken by a soft, lulling sound. It resonated through her and seemed to be in harmony with the storm.

Sreymao felt her worries and fears wash away and turned around to face Nicol. The sound was coming from him. In awe, she watched him. He seemed in a world of his own humming to the melody of the storm. Suddenly, he stopped and turned to look at her. "Oh, I'm sorry.", he said embarrassed. Sreymao shook her head, embarrassed for letting herself get caught gaping at him like that. "Oh no, it's alright. You seemed to be enjoying yourself so don't stop on my account…", she babbled. They were both silent and there was a clap of thunder. Sreymao couldn't turn away as Nicol's eyes brightened at the sound.

"They don't have rain on the PLANT?", she found herself asking. Surprised, Nicol looked at her. "They do have rain, but not like this with thunder and lightning.", he replied. "It's a rare and wonderful symphony.", he said almost in a sad whisper. His words echoed in mind and she smiled.

These weren't the words of a heartless killer, they were his words. They were the words of a kindhearted young man who was fighting to protect his home and, because of the strife, was not allowed to experience the simple beautiful things people took for granted. Was it okay for her to look at him in that light?

Nicol stood up. Curiously, Sreymao looked up at him. "The rain's let up. Let's go find a place to wait it out before it starts again.", Somewhat disappointed, Sreymao followed suit. She looked behind her and could still see their mobile suits as they moved up the hill. Suddenly, something in the distance caught her eyes. "Oh!", she exclaimed as she ran through the thicket. Nicol turned around.

"What is it?", he called out. Sreymao giggled and wiped tears from her eyes. 'I never thought I'd find one.", she said to herself as she looked over a small pond. She walked a top the outstretched log and reached for the flower in the bushes of the other side. All the while Nicol worriedly watched from the other side.

Only Sreymao could understand why she found so much hope in such a common plant, but finding it out in the depths of this forest brought her some relief. As she plucked the plant, she felt another tear slide down her wet face. She wiped it away with her hand and felt her vision go blurry. In an instant, she could see Nicol racing out towards her. She had lost her balance and was falling.

Nicol stopped them both from hitting the water. He held her close to him while she clutched the flower between them. "I'm sorry.", she whispered as she stifled a sob. She smiled sadly. "Whenever my father went away on business I would worry and my mother would say that I should have faith like the August lilies. They always seem to be cheerful and bloom happily in the moonlight even though they're no more certain about tomorrow than we are. 'The August lilies will bring the ones you love back to you' she would say.", Sreymao said smiling. Nicol felt envy tug at his heart. He felt he was witnessing an embarrassing secret; a smile meant for someone special to her. He wished he wasn't the cause of her tears; he wished she would smile like that for him.

Blushing at his thoughts, he led her to the other side. Sreymao opened her hands and revealed the beautiful white flowers. They both sat down and looked at them in silence. Nicol looked long and hard at the flowers and turned his head away pained. He could never be the one she smiled for.

The Buster skimmed over the land as Dearka watched the screen looking for any sign of Nicol. From the corner of his eye he could catch shimmer and instinctively moved away. His instincts had been correct he realized as the beam of neon pink light missed him and torched the nearby trees. "What in the..? Is this an ambush! Damnit!", he yelled angrily. "Yzak! Athrun! We have some trouble.", he paged.

"Trouble?", Yzak mused. "This is just what I needed.", he said as he dove in to attack the incoming fighter plane. "We'll show them that we're just as formidable without our Blitz!"

"Don't let yourself get sidetracked, Yzak. Our mission is to find Nicol."

"We won't be of much help if we let ourselves get shot down, idiot.", Yzak retorted.

Dearka sighed. "Let's get this over with so we can resume our search, okay guys?", he said as he fired his high energy rifle at the two incoming sword graspers. Athrun couldn't argue. As imperative as finding Nicol was, it would be the end of the Le Creuset team if they were shot down here. With his beam saber, Athrun flew in slicing off the wing of one of the sword grasper.

Gengling in his sword graspers whirled around angrily as he watched his soldier shot down before him. The option of negotiating with the enemy was still available, but his hatred for this team and his pride would not allow it. "Don't think it will be like last time you cowards!", he said with a thin smile. "You're not shooting us down so easily!".

The sound of aircraft woke Nicol. From the mouth of the cave he peered up into the bleak sky. He couldn't see them but he knew they were nearby. "Athrun?", he asked a loud. He turned to check on Sreymao who was sleeping. He had carried her into a nearby cave he'd found when she had passed out again, exhausted from her ordeal. What she had said had left him torn inside. All his years fighting he had known what destruction fighting caused. He had seen the results of his fights as well as the remains of other battles. He knew what pain it caused but he hadn't dared to imagine the pain it inflicted on others; he knew it would be too great to comprehend. But here he was, face to face with his greatest regret. As if she felt his gaze on her, Sreymao awoke. "What is it?", she asked meekly.

"There's a battle going on right above us.", he said turning to look out.

"Oh, but that means that my team is here right and I can retu-"

"It means my team is here as well…", he interrupted. Sreymao could not understand his unhappiness. Didn't he want to return to his ship? Images of the base flooded back to her. She remembered the warmth of the indoors, the other pilots, and most importantly Gengling. She wiped away her teary eyes. She couldn't wait to be back with him. Nicol sighed. "I was hoping they wouldn't fight but I guess it really couldn't be helped." Sreymao's eyes flashed with anger and she remembered her other reason for wanting to leave so quickly; the ZAFT pilot.

"Hypocrite," she heard herself say. She couldn't stop the tears from flowing this time and sat helplessly as they plopped into her lap. He had been so kind to her and part of her felt her anger was misdirected but being with him brought back too many memories of the day Heliopolis had been destroyed. Even though she was beginning to understand his position, it was far too difficult to forgive him what had happened. When she had been younger she hadn't understood why Naturals hated them so much. She had thought it strange that they were able to do things normal people couldn't but she hadn't minded. Birds could fly, fish could swim, and the coordinators had their abilities; that didn't make them strange. Since the incident at Heliopolis however, all the bad things said about coordinators seemed to make sense. They thought they were better than Naturals so they destroyed everything the Natural's held dear. They believed they were the newer, better species of mankind so they felt they had to destroy the Naturals. After Heliopolis, this all sounded true.


	5. Reunited Part 2

Nicol looked at her as she glared at him through teary eyes. He had never imagined himself the target of so much hate or the cause of so much unhappiness. He had always been fighting to protect PLANT and bring happiness to the coordinators living in the oppression of the EAF. He ducked suddenly as a massive wind blew into him. The wind was so sudden and strong Sreymao screamed. Nicol jumped to his feet and ran outside to check. The sounds of gunfire, quick moving mobile suits and aircraft were much louder now and the ground was shaking hard. "Ahh", Sreymao screamed as parts of the cave came crashing down. "It's caving in!", she screamed. Nicol looked around frantically. If they stayed in the cave it would cave in on them, but their chances weren't any higher running out in the middle of a battle.

"Come with me!", he called to her. "If you stay here you'll get buried alive.", he explained.

Sreymao looked at him startled and confused. "No way! I don't care if you do have enhanced abilities. If we run out there we'll be killed for sure." Nicol gave her a stern look.

"I didn't realize EAF soldiers were such cowards…", he muttered.

"What? How dare you!", she exclaimed angrily. Nicol smiled, ran over to her and bent down. "Then you won't object to getting on my back."

"What, but I can't...", she protested.

"You're too injured and too slow.", he explained. "If you run on your own you definitely won't make it.", he said smiling apologetically.

Sreymao didn't know what to say. He wasn't gloating; he was genuinely concerned for her. Blushing, she placed her hands on his back and hopped on.

"If you don't trust me, trust the lilies.", he said. "You can't be back with the people you care about if you die here.", he said finally. Sreymao thought she recognized hurt in his eyes and stopped arguing. "I guess I owe you again.", she muttered. Nicol smiled and sprinted out of the cave. "I won't let anything happen to you.", he said as he ran. His statement took Sreymao by surprise and she said nothing. The flying debris and sudden gusts of wind caused Sreymao to scream once more but Nicol moved quickly. He avoided the fallen trees and large branches and managed to move through the rugged terrain quickly despite the weight of the girl. "I'm so sorry. You'd probably be much faster without me to slow you down."

"It wouldn't be right to leave you in a place like that.", he replied. "Besides," he said with a smile, "You don't weight very much." Sreymao blushed again.

"Thank you.", she whispered.

From the ground, Dearka fired at the remaining sword graspers. So far they had managed to shoot nearly half of them down with only four remaining but this was taking up too much time and Le Creuset would be even more upset if they did not return soon. He fired his missile pods at the remaining units. "Damn them!", came Yzak's angry voice. "These Naturals are wasting our time."

"Then let's finish this quickly!", Athrun called out as the Aegis took on mobile armour mode. Quickly he fired his energy cannon and took out two of the remaining units. His eyes caught sight of large gap in a group of trees. His pulse quicken as he assessed the area. Zooming in he caught sight of what they had been searching for. There was the Blitz, but nearby was another mobile suit.

"I've located the Blitz.", he paged.

Yzak gave a hmph while Dearka smiled in relief. "It's about time.", he said with small chuckle as he held his ground firing at the remaining two sword graspers.

Sreymao shook at the deafening sound of the mobile suits and sword graspers in combat. She clutched tightly onto Nicol's back; he was moving so quickly she was afraid she would fall off. "Hey, who do you think is winning?", she asked. Nicol slowed his pace now that a lot of the fighting had died down.

"I really can't say for sure.", he replied. Sreymao was quiet and then spoke up again. "If the EAF defeat your team does that mean you won't get to return to your ship?". Nicol was surprised by her question.

"Don't worry about me, you're the one who's injured besides," he said lowering his voice, "Wouldn't that be best?". They were both silent but the question hung in the air. It dawned on Sreymao that her comments had hurt him. She lowered her eyes thinking about what exactly it was she wanted as they approached her strike dagger. In truth, she was no different than him. Eventually, she would have to shoot someone down, or even take a life. And as much as she wished she could blame him for that, she could not.

Gengling felt a bead of sweat drip down his neck. His search party had been shot down or cut down by these three mobile suits; at this rate he would have to call for reinforcements and that was if he didn't get shot down first. His eyes darted back and forth avoiding the shots fired at him from below and avoiding the Duel attacking from the air. He could barely get in time to fire back. Suddenly his eyes spotted a large unnatural gap in a growth of trees. "Sreymao…?", he whispered. Without thinking he sped towards it. "Sreymao…", he repeated. His mind was flooded with images of her from when they first met. Her raven coloured hair. "Sreymao…" Her bright green eyes when she had first smiled at him. "Sreymao!", he whispered more urgently.

Athrun moved quickly. One of the Sword graspers was heading towards where the Blitz lay. Athrun knew the pilot was looking for the enemy mobile suit but he couldn't let him get there first and fired the Igelstellungs.

Nicol jumped up to the cockpit of the strike dagger. "What are you doing?", Sreymao asked. "The interior is badly burned but there is a good chance you can still contact them and let them know where you are.", he said working quickly. Finally, there was the sound of static and undecipherable speech.

"Hello? Hello, this is Ensign Sreymao Fang…please respond!"

Gengling sat in his seat shocked. Was it her voice he heard paging him?

"Sreymao?", he called out frantically. He flew down to avoid the incoming shots but his energy was rejuvenated. Sreymao was okay. He remembered her kindness, her sorrow, and her fragility. How could he have let someone like her enter battle? He knew it was impossible to shield her from the war that had already done so much damage to her life, but this wasn't where she belonged. Why had it taken him this long to realize this? Was it because she had seemed so eager to please him? Was it because he thought she could avenge her parents and move on? Gengling tried reaching the strike dagger. "Sreymao! …I'm coming for you!", he called out.

Nicol watched as her face brightened. Her lieutenant had responded, and soon she would be home safe. "Gengling?", she said looking up at the Sword grasper heading in direction. Nicol looked to his right where he spotted the Buster in the distance occupied with the other aircraft and the Duel flying towards them. He looked at Sreymao and turned to jump down.

The duel hurried to where Athrun had said he'd spotted the Nicol's mobile suit. There was the Blitz half submerged in the water.. "This battle has taken too long. When I get a hold of Nicol I'll make him regret wasting so much of our day.", he thought to himself. Yzak's eyes narrowed as he noticed a damaged enemy mobile suit. The door to the cockpit was open and at the door stood Nicol. "That bastard! What the hell is he doing near that thing?", he cursed as he moved towards it.

Gengling watched as his last pilot was shot down. "Damn it.", he muttered under his breath. "Sreymao, I won't get shot down. I'm coming for you." His pulse quickened as he watched the duel approaching where Sreymao's mobile suit was. "Don't you dare!", he yelled angrily as he released the Sword Grasper's beam boomerang.

Yzak did not see the boomerang coming. It ripped through the Duel's shoulder and the force of the attack pushed it off balance and sent it crashing into the trees. "Yzak!", Dearka called as he flew in behind him. Athrun narrowed his eyes and closed in on the last sword grasper. He slashed through the wing with his beam saber and watched as it burned and crashed into the sea.

Nicol stood at the door of the strike dagger watching the battle's end. He knew she had been watching also. He could hear Sreymao's breathing quicken, and her fingers punching madly into the controls as she tried to reestablish contact. "No…Gengling…No!", she whispered. She jumped out of the cockpit. "I have to find him.", she said to herself in hush whispers. Nicol held her back. "Stop, there's no point…", he tried explaining to her but his words were beyond reach. "No,", she moaned. She looked up at him enraged. "This is your fault! You coordinators took him away too! Are you happy? Are you satisfied? Now I have no one!", she screamed pummeling him with punches. They lost balance and together they fell into the sand but Sreymao jumped up and struck him across the face. Quickly, Nicol grabbed her arms and restrained her.

"Well now, Nicol, how did you make this girl so mad?", came Dearka's voice. Nicol turned to see him and Yzak both pointing their guns towards her. The Aegis landed and Athrun came down from the cockpit. Sreymao's eyes were fierce but she shook with fear and unshed tears. "You can put those away, I can handle her.", Nicol said.

"That mark on your face disagrees, Nicol.", Yzak said not lowering his gun. Nicol turned to her.

"If you put up a fight they'll have no choice but to shoot.", he told her. Sreymao turned to face Athrun.

"You…you killed him!", she screamed moving towards him. Nicol moved his hand quickly and punched her in the gut. She gasped and collapsed in his arms. Dearka raised an eyebrow and lowered his gun. He smiled at Nicol's red cheek.

"Where did you pick up this psycho? She certainly did a number on your face.", he said. Yzak glared at him. "Idiot! How does a member of the Le Creuset team get shot down by a girl!", he demanded.

"Man, if it had been me, I'd never live it down. I'd prefer my team hadn't found me…", Dearka said with his devilish smirk. Athrun stepped forward.

"That's enough. I've contacted the Vesalius and given them our coordinates. They'll be here soon." He looked to Nicol. "How are you holding up?", he asked concerned.

"I'm fine; no injuries to worry about." They turned their attention to Sreymao who was still unconscious in Nicol's arms.

"What do you suppose they'll do with the girl?", Dearka asked. Yzak looked at her in disgust, but said nothing.

"Depending on her injuries they might keep her in sick bay for sometime. The rest is up to the commander."

Nicol sadly looked down at her tear stained face. He replayed their encounter in his mind from the time he had found her to the events leading to that very moment. In that short time, he had decided he didn't want to cause her anymore pain. He sighed in exhaustion. "Nicol?", Athrun called. Nicol feigned a smile.

"I'll be fine.", he said reassuringly, but he wished he could be as certain about Sreymao's fate.


	6. Empty Love Songs

Athrun sat silently in the lobby outside the commander's office. His expression and demeanor were calm but he was nervous. His status in the society of PLANT would shield him and the others from a great punishment, but it also meant he had to deal with the brunt of it. Athrun heard the door slide open and immediately stood and saluted. The commander entered the room. He wore his usual mysterious smile, one that managed to make even Athrun nervous. Now Le Creuset and his unnerving smile stood before him. Athrun lowered his head.

"Come.", Le Creuset said and Athrun followed him to his chambers within the ship. "You are more than aware of what you and your fellow soldiers Dearka and Yzak have done.", he began as they entered his room. "You are certainly competent enough to imagine the position our ship would have been in if the enemy had attacked and our four reds were not around to defend us.", he continued. "We are all fond of Nicol and wanted nothing more than his safe return, but at what cost? As confident as you and your fellow soldiers are about your abilities, your duty is to protect this ship and to not undermine my authority by disobeying my orders and acting on your own."

Athrun was silent. Le Creuset walked over to his nightstand and took a container of pills from it. He looked back at Athrun .

"Of course you already knew this.", Le Creuset added. "Still, someone of your status doesn't need to be reminded of the ill effects this could have on your position, do you Mr. Zala."

Athrun narrowed his eyes and looked down to the tiled floor still saying nothing. "Mr.Zala" was how someone would approach his father. A man who would be more than displeased if he found out his son was causing problems.

"I apologize for acting out of place, Commander.", Athrun said. The commander swallowed the pills and sat down while Athrun stood. "You're dismissed. But I must remind you to refrain from such actions again. It isn't very becoming of the chairman's son…then again, it is something your father would probably do." Athrun said nothing. He saluted and left the room. He wasn't insulted by the commander comparing him to his father. Being the chairman of ZAFT was an honour. But his father's personality wasn't one he admired in particular.

He shook his head as he headed down the long corridor. This wasn't anything to worry about. He and the others had been let off lightly. The real source of his worry was Nicol. It had been a full day since he had returned but he did not seem as jovial as usual. Athrun sighed as he set out to find his friend. What could have happened on the island?

Nicol lay on his bed facing the ceiling. The room was dark and quiet but in he could still hear Sreymao's sobs echoing in the darkness. In his mind he could see her hysterical face and his chest was tender where she had pummeled him. He was restless. He had not seen her since he had entered his room. In fact, he had avoided everyone since he had been released from sickbay. He hadn't been ill, but it was protocol to have a check up after being stuck on a deserted island for 2 ½ days with no real sleep, water, or food. He knew there was nothing to worry about. As a coordinator he wasn't as susceptible to illnesses as a natural would be. But his concern wasn't for himself, it was for Sreymao. The wound she had received from the crash hadn't been fatal but she had fallen ill once and she was really weak. Nicol sighed and rolled over. Would she still be in sickbay? Was she even awake yet?

Nicol sat up and leaned against the wall adjacent to his bed. Why should he concern himself with a girl who wanted him dead anyway? He stood up and left the room. He couldn't be alone with himself, his mind was filling with thoughts of her and this was not appropriate.

He walked along the empty corridor to the large window that showed the clear night sky. Music had always helped him relax before so he closed his eyes and hummed a tune. He hummed a song he had composed and written and hummed many times but this time it felt different. It was a love song but before it had seemed so empty. This time there was warmth to it. This usually empty love song felt full.

Nicol remembered humming this song on that island. It had been raining and Sreymao had been feverish. They stopped to rest and enjoy the scenery. Nicol remembered how the plants looked in the rain. He remembered the symphony of thunder and rain pitter pattering on the foliage. And, he remembered Sreymao's long dripping eyelashes, her wet hair,and her curious look when he had hummed his song.

Nicol opened his eyes. His cheeks were burning and his heart felt so heavy but was beating wildly. He shook his head. He couldn't let himself feel this way. It simply was unacceptable. But still, he found his mind wandering to the rare moments when they had gotten along. He couldn't worry about her but that was all he seemed to be doing. "Damn it!", he muttered as he punched the window pane. These thoughts were so suffocating, he couldn't possibly ignore them. "Should I go see her?", he thought to himself. He was certain she hated him but her comrades had been killed. He looked at the night sky. Even the stars had companions but on this ship there was no one to consol her. And, perhaps, if he saw she was alright he could stop thinking about her.

Sreymao was all alone. There were armed guards at the entrance of the room but it was empty. They had locked her away from the other patients and this suited her just fine. She didn't want to be anywhere near these people who had killed her comrades. They had given her food but she couldn't eat. Gengling was dead. He had died trying to rescue her. She remembered the flower she had picked in the forest, the August lily that had given her so much hope. She remembered the coordinator that had made her think that one day naturals and coordinators would get along. Now she felt betrayed by both the flower and coordinator. "Never trust the beautiful I guess.", she mumbled to herself.

She closed her eyes. She didn't want to cry again. She was still sore so she couldn't roll on her belly and hide her tears. Her head felt heavy. Perhaps the drugs they had given her were taking affect. She wished the drugs could take away the feeling in her body and the pangs of pain in her heart. But the gods were never kind to her. They let her feel heartbreak again and again letting each wound heal and then ripping a new hole so the pain felt raw.

Her memory flashed images of that soldier. Had he told her his name? She couldn't recall it. He had been so kind to her, maybe even soothing the hate she had cultured for the coordinators. But Gengling had been killed by a ZAFT soldier; a friend of the coordinator boy. That curly green haired boy with the honest smile that she knew she couldn't hate and couldn't help but forgive. But right now she couldn't forget or forgive. She was mad, she was frustrated and heartbroken. And once again she was all alone. She was very drowsy now but she smiled and laughed sadly to herself.

"_I won't let anything happen to you_.", was what he had told her when he had saved her from the collapsing cave and as she had clung on to him she had believed him. "Never trust the beautiful.", she said again.

Nicol found himself in the corridor again. Soldiers saluted him and he received the occasional pat on the back but it didn't lighten his spirits. He stopped walking as he drew nearer to the infirmary. He could hear his heart beating louder in his chest but he tried to ignore it.

He entered the room. It was bustling with as much activity as usual. Nicol was confused. He approached one of the guards. "Oh, are you looking for that spit fire? They put her in a separate room, less tension that way.", he replied gruffly noticing Nicol's puzzled face. Nicol looked down disappointed. The guard looked at him curiously. "What's wrong?", he asked. Nicol shook his head and smiled.

"Oh, nothing. Thank you.", he said saluting and turning to leave. Sreymao must have been put in a room nearby, but where?

Dearka walked up the corridor sipping on a water bottle and listening to the newest song by Lacus Clyne. Free time on this ship was always a rare and cherished time for him and the other reds but it was usually spent in study. He had taken a break from his usual work with Yzak to walk around. They had been updating the settings on their mobile suits but even he could get fed up with Yzak's insults and banter. He stopped and leaned against a wall in the corner. He closed in his eyes savouring the moment of utter peace. Later, if he had time, he would sneak into the infirmary and steal some fruit, but in the meantime he wanted to do absolutely nothing. He spotted Nicol outside the imfirmary and for a moment, considered walking over and talking to him.

Nicol had not been his usual cheery self since he had returned. He was moody and quiet and only smiled occasionally. Athrun had also been rather melancholy since the incident, but then again, Athrun always seemed melancholy. Perhaps Yzak had sensed this as well because he hadn't teased Nicol or made a single comment since his return. "Nicol must be taking advantage of Yzak's silence. It'd be smart to get away from it while he still can. If there's a battle he'll heat up again.", he chuckled to himself. It was a strange way of thinking, but Dearka now wished for a battle. Not a big one, but one good enough to revive his friends and bring things back to normal.

Hidden in the corner, Dearka watched Nicol. He never quite understood why Nicol hadn't just become a pianist and abandoned the battlefield. But perhaps there was more to his friend than him and the others realized. Perhaps Nicol was stronger than they had thought. "…Perhaps…", Dearka said as he sipped his water.

Outside the infirmary, a soldier of lower rank was taking a tray of food to a room. Nicol smiled, he knew who that food was meant for. "Here. Allow me.", he said taking the tray. "That natural girl is weak but she's dangerous. You may go back to your post.". The soldier hesitated. "Oh no, I couldn't do that…", she said still holding the tray but unsure of what to do. Nicol smiled his charming smile.

"Don't worry about it. I won't tell your superiors, plus, since there's no battle right now, I haven't much else to do.". The soldier nodded, giving in, thanked Nicol and handed him the card key before leaving. Nicol stood at the door. What he had said wasn't true. He should have been checking the repairs being done to the Blitz, or reviewing battle strategies but with Sreymao on his mind he could not concentrate. He slipped in the key card, waited for the door to open, and entered the room.


	7. Fooled by Love, Saved By Faith

Behind closed eyes Sreymao dreamed. She saw Gengling's face hovering above hers. She reached out to touch his face which seemed only an inch away but his skin was cold to the touch like a corpse. She remembered now. Gengling was dead. Her eyes fluttered open and she lurched herself upright gasping for air as though she could not fill her lungs. Her head swooned from the heavy medication but gradually she grasped the shreds of reality. She wasn't going to be able to touch Gengling ever. She touched her uniform to see it had been opened and her wound cleaned and bandaged. She was about to let the tears fall again, the tears Gengling deserved, when she realized she had an audience. She glanced up, away from her hands clutched on her knees, to the coordinator boy standing at the doorway. She hadn't heard the door slide open in her slumber. How long had he been there and what did he want?

"Get out! I don't ever want to see your face again!" she screamed hurtling a pillow at him. Nicol dodged the pillow effortlessly and proceeded towards her. "I brought you a meal. You won't regain your strength unless you eat something" he said trying to keep his tone even as he regarded two trays of untouched food. He laid the tray down on the table and stood beside the bed, his face distorted in something that seemed a blend of pain and something indescribable. She did her best to glower at him before she turned away from him to face the wall. She wasn't going to forgive anyone. She was tired of being in pain.

"How long are you going to continue to hate me for?" Nicol asked. Sreymao didn't reply; she fixated on the gnawing pain inside. "It's okay to hate me I guess, I have done a lot of bad things. I've killed a lot of people; I'm a soldier." he said, his hands balling into fists. "But are you going to keep staining the memories of people you lost with feelings of hatred? I think they deserve better than tha-"

Before Nicol could finish, Sreymao's hand contacted with his face with a loud "smack". Nicol instinctively grabbed her wrists and flung her down. "If you keep up this attitude you're going to die!" he yelled at her. Her efforts were futile against his strength and although he had her pinned down; he had managed to do it gracefully. Her eyes widened in fear of words. "If you continue to fight us, fight me, then they aren't going to go easy on you. You'll die along with your memories. And I don't want you to die." Sreymao looked up at him in confusion. "Even if you want to hate me until the very end, at least try to live on for those you do care about." Nicol closed his eyes trying to keep the tears in. Sreymao felt her own eyes welling with tears and tried to hold back. She didn't want to sympathize with him, and she didn't want him to make her feel better. She definitely didn't want to be happy that she was hearing these kind words from the coordinator who killed the only person who had cared about her. Hot tears hit her face from above and she opened her eyes, finally letting her tears spill. They both stayed in place quietly sobbing until there were no more tears.

Nicol sat down on the edge of her bed facing away from her, embarrassed that he had let himself cry in front of her. He stood up to leave but was held back by a tug on his shirt. "Before you go, tell me your name." she asked, avoiding making eye contact. Nicol stopped, taken aback, and looked at her. Her eyes were downcast but she slowly raised them to meet his. "I'm Nicol." he said as he reached for the key card in his pocket. He paused by the door giving her a chance to say more but her eyes were once again downcast and she simply repeated his name to herself. The door slid open and he started to step out as he heard her hesitant voice. "My name...my name is Sreymao." And the door slid shut.

Nicol rushed to his quarters and shut the door. He lay down on his bed looking at the ceiling. Things were getting out of hand. He was feeling too much too soon. He closed his eyes as if doing this would stop the images playing in his mind. Sreymao's thick curly hair, like vines from an exotic plant and how they draped over her back onto the bed like a glorious cape and her glowing green eyes that shone from beneath her long lashes. He felt his cheeks burning and immediately opened his eyes. His judgment of her was being compromised by the time they had spent in Alaska or was that simply his excuse? He knew a few things for certain. He loved the sound of her name and she had somehow managed to evoke his tears.

Dearka stood dumbfounded at the entrance of the room. He knew he had seen Nicol enter it holding food for the captive. He knew he was lucky he hadn't been wearing his red uniform otherwise Nicol would have noticed him. He had even smirked at the thought that perhaps Nicol was going to get even with the EAF soldier, but he had not expected his comrade to rush out of the room tear stained and embarrassed, most definitely not. His eyebrows narrowed as considered what could have taken place in the room. At first he had chuckled at a dirty thought when Nicol had not returned immediately after entering but his sense of humour had started to fade when it seemed fifteen minutes had well passed. "He better not have developed feelings for her...for all of our sakes" Dearka mumbled to himself as he headed to his quarters to change back into his uniform.

Athrun rapped lightly on the door. "Nicol, do you mind if I come in?" he asked. Nicol's cheery face answered the door but Athrun knew better. He knew this was a facade; Nicol had never been a good liar. But there was something about Nicol's demeanour that worried Athrun. "Have you been eating well? Since you got back?" Athrun asked. "Yes, of course." Nicol replied genially. In truth Nicol could barely remember then last meal he had had. Athrun looked at Nicol seriously and Nicol's facade slowly started to crack. "I'm worried about you Nicol, we all are. Something happened on the island didn't it?" Athrun began. "It's hard to talk about....Until I understand it myself." Nicol said cutting him off. "I do appreciate your concern Athrun, I always have. But this is something I will have to deal with myself."

Athrun looked at Nicol's hands balled into fists and heard the strain in his voice. He couldn't argue with Nicol like this. Nicol forced an amiable smile and Athrun smiled back trying to shove the worry aside. Nicol was capable of handling himself. Whatever had occurred on the island, Nicol was trying to deal with. Athrun stood up. "We'll be returning to the PLANTs soon. Your parents are eager to see you. The ETAs been set for tomorrow evening around 19:00 hours so try to get some rest." he said before leaving. Nicol would be fine, he would continue to look out for him but he couldn't force Nicol to rely on him. "Wait!" Nicol called and Athrun stopped before he could head for the door. Athrun turned around confused. "If we're heading to PLANT tomorrow what will they do with her?" Nicol asked. Athrun looked back at Nicol. He could feel anger filling his voice as he spoke but he couldn't stop it as the realization hit him. "She's an EAF captive, Nicol. Do you remember her hostility, her hatred towards you and us? You ended up on that island because she was trying to kill you. Don't forget that." he said as he walked away.

"Naive Nicol, stupid Nicol, far too hopeful Nicol" were Athrun's thoughts as he headed back to the brig. He had fought against his own friend, Kira, a fellow coordinator. He had told him to leave and join him but he had refused. Kira was fighting to protect those important to him, and Sreymao would do the same. They would fight and kill anyone who got in their way, as he had and Nicol would have to learn that on his own. In the empty hall way the sound of Athrun's fist striking the wall echoed. "Nicol you fool..." he thought to himself. But his anger wouldn't subside for he knew he had been a fool as well.

Her hair outspread on the bed Sreymao tried to go back to sleep. Sleep was more welcome than the process of deciphering ones feelings any day. With sleep perhaps she could get to more pressing matters like, what was to become of her? And, did anyone know she was alive? But Nicol's brief visit had left her in a state of mind more jumbled than before. Why couldn't she forget about him and why couldn't she push him away? Why was she beginning to imagine him away from the battlefield in a different life?

On the other side of the ship Nicol stared blankly at the ceiling. His body had felt numb as Athrun's words had echoed again and again in his mind. He knew Athrun was right in his own way but that wasn't going to make him feel any less for her. They were who they were now because of the war. But that wasn't going to stop him from imagining the world if there was peace. And a world with peace and Sreymao wouldn't exist if Sreymao died. The ordeal on the island was replaying over and over and the conviction in his heart was pumping life blood into his body. He knew what had to be done.


	8. The Miracle of the August Lilies

The pain burned like embers undying and defiant. And so he pushed on because undying and defiant was his middle name. He didn't die that easily, although it often wasn't by choice. The world was dark and cold and smelled of latex as he awoke. Gengling opened his eyes lazily and took in the emptiness and loneliness of the so familiar room. He was on an EAF ship, but not his own. He remembered his sword grasper being taken down. He remembered the heat. He remembered how close he'd been and that as he had hurtled to the ground he could have sworn he saw Sreymao's missing unit.

It was a wonder he hadn't died. He was certain that he was going to die. It wasn't an unfamiliar feeling; he had been fighting a very long time. But the hopelessness he had felt after being so close to his goal had made him feel as though he deserved to die. The one second lapse in judgement, as he had heard Sreymao's voice, had earned death. But the gods had allowed him to survive somehow, and for this he was grateful. If the ZAFT pilots had found her then there was a good chance she was still alive, and that meant he could still save her.

"Ah, so you're awake." a gentle voice called. Gengling turned his head to the voice and looked back blankly. She was wearing the uniform of a commanding officer, and a few medals to boot. "And you are?" he offered. The woman regarded him with light blue eyes with a serene smile as if she could not be upset by his rudeness. "My name is Captain Fira Labelle, commanding officer of this ship. How are your wounds? Your eye seems heavily bandaged-"

"What happened to them? Did they get away?" Gengling interrupted. Captain Fira smiled. Her face looked youthful despite the serious tenor of her voice and her eyes betrayed nothing. Her smile unnerved Gengling though, as though she found a small joke in everything; it sent shivers down his spine. She was beautiful yes, but there was something deathly cold about her. "Have patience. In the condition your body is in at the moment it wouldn't matter if I said they were 2 miles away; you wouldn't be able to fight." Gengling glared at her. "Our ship is currently on route to intercept the Vesalius as heads back to PLANTs. Your commanding officer back at Alaska, Vice Admiral Garon, he's a stubborn one but he will not lose face." she said almost to herself. Gengling watched her annoyed, as she talked. Didn't she understand what was at stake here? She looked at him and her lip curled into a smile. "How fortunate we are to have you here though, eh, Gengling. I hear you're a brazen war hero. I look forward to having you among my soldiers." "And who in the hell says I'm going to fight for you? I'm here on a mission of my own." Gengling retorted furious.

Captain Fira smile slightly but her eyes narrowed. "What do you have to fight with soldier? Not even an able body? I will supply you a mobile suit, I will allow you to pursue your objective, but only when you have aided me in fulfilling mine." she said as she carefully pulled back a strand of her long blond hair. Gengling looked at her in astonishment. "Come off it. You're a decorated war hero because you fought battles and won, not because you ran off after every soldier who couldn't defend himself." For a split second, Gengling could see the intensity of this woman's hatred. "La Belle Ice Queen." he murmured to himself. "Ah, so you've heard of me." she cooed amused. Indeed he had, this woman was a formidable fighter in almost every aspect. On earth or in space, commanding units or piloting her own, she was a force to be reckoned with. "They murdered your crew, Gengling, or are the lives of those pilots less important than the life of the one you're looking for?" she asked, her smile gone now.

Gengling could not reply. He wanted to say it was his fault she had been sent out into battle, but same was the case for the others who had died. "You owe it to the lives lost. They deserve to be avenged. Sreymao can wait." she said soothingly. Gengling felt his shoulders slumping with defeat. He knew she was right. "Wait, how did you know her name?" he asked glaring at her. Captain Tira smiled her knowing smile and Gengling's hate for her grew. "I kept checking in on you; you had me rather worried. But in your sleep, you kept mumbling her name. She must be something, this girl." Gengling looked down, pained. "She is something, like a flower..." "Ah, that's right." the captain started again "When I found your body; you'd been thrown so far from your mobile suit. You were strewn in a field of August lilies. You do know what they say about August lilies don't you? They'll return you to the ones you love." She looked at him kindly but Gengling would not be deceived. Captain Fira stood up to leave and enclosed something in Gengling's palm. She smiled again, a devilish smile Gengling thought, and left. Gengling looked at the August lily she had left behind. Whether it was a token of the gods or an antic of the Ice Queen, he desperately needed something to hope in. He clutched the August lily and prayed for Sreymao's safety.

Captain Fira sat at her post in the commander's chair. The Nelson class ship nicknamed the Frozen Spear had seen many a battle won and lost at with her at command. Her reputation as the Ice Queen suited her fine. Those with anything other than ice flowing in their veins were susceptible to pain. And pain meant vulnerability. And vulnerability meant death. As she had watched each of her comrades die one by one she had learned that war was unbiased. To war, anyone was fair game. And if you survived you were simply given a chance to play the gamble of life again. She sympathized with Gengling, but she did not see the purpose in sacrificing so much for a single life that was only going to live to play again. She sighed. "Captain, are you alright? You seem rather melancholy though we are only hours from battle?" a young ensign asked. Captain Fira shook her head. "Oh I'm alright, just contemplating the foolishness of love." she said with a wink.

Yzak entered the brig his expression as cold as ever. He regarded Athrun with a nod and soon afterward Dearka joined them. He still had not seen much of Nicol since his return. "Don't tell me that coward is still moping in his room" he scoffed to Dearka. Dearka shrugged and made a face as though the topic made him uncomfortable but did not reply. Athrun also seemed distracted. Yzak wasn't used to such sombre expressions from these two. "Hey, what's gotten into the two of you?" Yzak pressed. Duty had been rather relaxed and there was no impending battle that he was aware of so it must have been worry for Nicol. This only caused the crease in Yzak's forehead to grow. Yzak turned around and left. "Where are you going?" Dearka asked confused. "If Nicol's stupidity is contagious, I'm not catching it." Yzak muttered to himself.

"Glad you could join us, Captain." Vice Admiral Garon's rusty voice filled the bustling command room of the Nelson class ship and his image filled the large screen. Captain Fira saluted in return. "Ah and Gengling, I trust you're in well enough condition to be joining us? I wouldn't want to lose such an important asset." he smiled to Gengling. Gengling nodded his thanks from a communication link in the docks. "Alright then, all ships in battle formation." "Port side 30 degrees. Fire missile launchers!" Prepare the sword graspers and gat units for launch!"

Sreymao felt the ship quake. She jolted upright clutching her shoulder. Were they being attacked? Did this mean she was saved? She watched as the door slid opened and Nicol entered. He was holding two uniforms. He was already wearing his pilot's uniform and his helmet was in hand. "Here put this on." He said handing her a green uniform and a hat. "What? Did you plan this? What's going on?" she asked. "Listen, we don't have much time but this is the best chance you have of escaping so let's go." he said. He turned around so she could change. Sreymao looked at him doubtfully but complied moving as quickly as she could. Nicol followed suit donning the mechanics suit and cap.

"Alright, I'm done." she said. Nicol looked at her. It was sad that they had only really been separated by a uniform before. He couldn't help imagining what it would be like if she had simply been part of ZAFT. He shook the notion of his hand and took her hand. "The EAF has just commenced an attack; you'll be able to escape in the confusion." Sreymao couldn't really argue. She followed Nicol out the door. "I'll walk ahead of you. Keep your head down and try to follow me." Nicol instructed. Just then the ship shook. "Hey what are you doing there?" called one of the common soldiers. Sreymao and Nicol both looked with a start. "Isn't that the prisoner?" he asked. Suddenly the soldier was knocked to the ground with a loud thud. Yzak stepped from behind him. "Looks like the last quake knocked him out."Yzak seemingly said to himself. He looked over to them. "You two better hurry to your posts." Yzak said as he turned and headed to the dock. "Yzak," Nicol called "Thank you."


End file.
